By Delia Tiu
There is a feeling I cannot fully translate from Romanian. We call it un nod în gât, a knot in your throat. That mix of excitement and fear sitting right there, between your chest and your words, refusing to move.
I feel it every single time I leave for a solo trip. Even Malta, a brand new country for me, though not my first time travelling alone. Even with experience. Even knowing what was on the other side of that fear.
Standing in the airport, boarding pass in hand, the knot was still there.
And I went anyway. Every single time, I go anyway. And every single time, it is worth it.
The Part Nobody Tells You About Planning
Most women think the hardest part of solo travel is being alone in a foreign country. And yes, that feeling is real. But the hardest part is actually the days before you leave, when your brain has too much time and too much quiet, and it starts filling both with worst-case scenarios.
What if I can’t find anywhere good to eat? What if something goes wrong and there’s nobody with me? What if I can’t handle it?
I have thought every single one of those things. More than once. Here is what I know now: planning your trip is not about making the fear disappear. It is about giving yourself enough structure that the fear has less room to grow. So here is how I actually do it.
Step 1: Choose a Destination That Matches Where You Are Right Now
Your first solo trip does not have to be the bravest trip of your life. It just has to be the first one.
Choose somewhere safe, easy to navigate, and forgiving if things don’t go perfectly. Malta was exactly that for me. A small island, English-speaking, warm people, easy to get around. I rented a tiny white car and decided I was going to see the whole island. Me. A small girl. Driving on the left side of the road for the very first time, at 5am, after a gentleman I had never met picked me up at the airport, drove me to what felt like someone’s back yard, and handed me the keys without a word.
I had bought the extra insurance. We both knew it. Two minutes into driving, alone, on the wrong side of the road, in the dark, I felt like a completely different person.
Start somewhere that gives you that feeling. Not terror. Not total comfort either. Somewhere just outside your edge, where growth actually happens.
Step 2: Book Your First Night Before Anything Else
This one decision removes at least 80% of pre-trip anxiety. I promise.
Knowing exactly where you are going the moment you land, a confirmed address, a key waiting, a bed, means the first hours of your trip have a destination. You are not figuring it out while exhausted, in a city you don’t know, at midnight.
Before you book, research the neighbourhood. I always look up which areas to avoid and make sure my accommodation is nowhere near them. You want the freedom to walk back to your hotel at any hour and feel safe doing it. Do not let twenty euros saved on a cheaper room put you in a position you didn’t choose. Location first. Price second. Every time.
Step 3: Stay Connected, On Your Terms
Every country I travel to, I either arrive with international data already active, or I buy a local SIM card the moment I land. Non-negotiable.
WhatsApp and Google Maps are my two most trusted travel companions. One keeps me connected to the people I love. The other makes sure I am never truly lost.
And someone at home should always have a rough idea of where you are. Not a minute-by-minute report. More like a warm heads up. Mine looked like this:
“Going on a boat with two girls I just met, no internet for a few hours” followed by a photo of us laughing in the sun.
That is it. That is the whole safety net. Simple, light, and it means someone somewhere is quietly cheering you on.
Step 4: Plan Enough, Then Let it Flow
One or two things per day. That is all you need to plan in advance. The rest? Leave it open.
Solo travel is not a checklist. It is permission to move at your own pace, eat when you are hungry, stay longer when something feels right, and leave when it does not. Nobody is waiting for you. Nobody is rushing you. That is the gift.
My favourite Malta memory did not come from any guidebook. It came from stopping at a small restaurant in a random village, sitting outside as the sun went down, and ordering two plates of food and one glass of wine. Because I could. Because nobody was counting. Because I was exactly where I wanted to be, doing exactly what I wanted to do.
At that moment, something settled inside me. The knot was gone. The trip had officially begun.
You cannot plan that moment. You can only leave enough space for it to find you.
Step 5: Say Hello, The Rest Takes Care of Itself
Here is the thing about solo travel that surprised me most, even after doing it more than once. You are almost never actually alone.
People want to connect. A stranger, when you smile and say hello, responds like a long-lost cousin. Warm, open, happy to share. In Malta I met two girls. We talked, we laughed, we booked a spontaneous day trip together, and we made memories I still carry with me. All of it started with one hello.
Solo travel does not mean isolated travel. It means you get to choose your people. And sometimes the ones you choose for one afternoon become the best part of your whole trip.
The Knot in Your Throat Is Normal. Go Anyway.
You are going to feel it. The empty stomach. The knot. That moment at the gate where a little voice asks: are you really doing this?
You are. And you are ready. You just don’t fully know it yet.
Start with a destination that excites you more than it scares you. Book your first night somewhere safe and central. Get connected. Tell someone at home your rough plan, one message, one photo, that is enough. Then go find a restaurant, sit outside, order exactly what you want, and watch the world move around you.
The rest will come. It always does.
Outro: At SoloWeTravel, we create curated solo travel experiences for women who are ready to go but don’t want to figure everything out alone. The planning, the vetted stays, the safety net. We handle all of it. So you can just show up and live it.